This looks lame

Posted on

Yeah, I’m trying to redesign it. It’s still readable though (but ugly).

It looks slightly better now doesn’t it? Still a lot more work to do but this is readable.

I will put the menu back eventually, I just don’t know when.

This blog has minimal mobile/tablet capability because I don’t know how to do this properly. Ironically the theme I based it off was developed for responsive mobile use – I just managed to screw with it enough so that doesn’t work anymore. I’m pretty sure its still readable though so it’s all good. Using Jetpack for mobile.

Oh yeah…

Posted on

About the tiny comment box…yeah maybe I should fix that. But no one seems to comment anyway so is there a point?

I might do it later. Maybe.

Wow, it’s mid October

Posted on

Apologies for the lack of content but I just have to write something. Anything. Just something. I’m currently in the post-midterm slump (I’m done midterms so I’m lazy now!).

Midterms are done. It’s getting colder. Soon my birthday will come. Be past. Another year older. Another year of nothingness.

Every year, every day feels the same. Almost. I try to take note of the changing seasons, embrace its beauty and breathe its essence deeply.  But the ricocheting between walls is distracting. I feel like I’m going nowhere yet, still a slave to time.

I do have several creative projects I want to do and hopefully I’ll actually do them. It’s my only measure of somethingness right now, well – between the midterms and the essays and the grades. Why? Because it doesn’t seem like I’m good at anything else. I do wonder if I’m ever good at anything, really…

But what do I want do to do? What do I actually want to do?

I don’t know. I’m not sure if I’ll ever know.

For now my creative projects will be

  1. Writing here
  2. Making motion poetry films/animations (Cinematic and Kinetic poetry)
  3. Writing for the Peak and perhaps other things

And yeah that’s about it. Maybe I’ll redesign my website (again). We’ll see. Maybe I’ll look into getting some actual hosting…we’ll see.

Anyway, I have nothing to say right now but I am writing poems for and I have shot some footage for a video that I’ll hopefully edit before the winter is over (assuming my computer doesn’t die doing that).

That’s all I have to say.

Can We Ever Be Free?

Posted on

Can we ever be free
or is to be bounded a condition
of living and existence?

We are tied to the world
tied to social systems
bounded, shackled, chained

each one of us is a
slave to society

each one of us is a
slave to ourselves

some of us are
slaves to fear
slaves to reality
slaves to fate

Life is the master
we are not
just merely its slaves

to live is to be bounded
by the constraints of life,
the master’s constant
sometimes harsh demands
that you cannot
argue with

but it doesn’t mean
are we never free
and can never be free
for we are the masters of our
dreams and fantasies

so here in dreams,
in fantasies,
in our creations
we are free

Notes: I cannot think of a better title right now. Working title (maybe).

Not Thankful for Places I Don’t Belong

Posted on

It’s thanksgiving.

But I don’t feel very thankful. I don’t feel thankful for the friends that I don’t have,  the pets that I don’t have, the family that can’t or won’t understand me, the walls I keep hitting or the places I hoped to be a places of belonging, just more places of unbelonging.

Ask me for my thanks when I’m happier.

Leaning into the Void

Posted on

This is it.

I’m heading towards the end of my academic career. (I don’t really have  the grades for grad school and if I did do it, it’ll probably something not so practical…like creative writing). But I don’t know what’s at the end.

I’m heading towards the void.
I’m leaning into the void.
I’m falling into the void.

So hell is a swear word? The hell? Why heck isn’t enough.

Posted on

So, apparently hell is a swear word? What the hell? I don’t think it is.  When you say, heaven and hell – hell is not a swear world. It is just a place. A mysterious place. One that is probably full of anger, confusion and fire. All of which that I am using feeling when I use that word.

That said I’m not religious at all and I’m sorry, but I think religion is so very dumb to begin with. We would have so many less problems in the world if there was no religion. I’m not saying we should all bow to reason and science because that can also be dangerous but I am not a fan of religion. Besides, it makes no sense – but what where God came from? Was there the big bag and there was God or something? Where did he (or her, for a goddess) come from? It’s like a nice fairy tale people made up themselves to answer burning questions. At least it proves humans are somewhat creative.  Besides there’s so many different versions too! Adam and Eve…blah blah blah.  You know Imagine  “Nothing to kill or die for/And no religion too”…it’s just not worth the bloodshed. Really. It’s not.

*if you are deeply religious, you probably avoid talking to me about religion. That said, I still think the mythology is pretty cool…it’s just not what I believe in.

Is it just me, or nobody cares?

Posted on

Have you ever had the overwhelming feeling that you work hard on something but no one really cares? Yeah…

I write this blog but it often feels like it’s a notebook to myself…which is fine I guess but slightly less than thrilling.

I have made illustrations and stuff but nobody seems to care. I guess it wasn’t good enough or something. I don’t know.  I won’t even know because nobody cares.

I once made an animated ecard (yeah, frame by frame animation) and pretty much nobody replied. Fine then. I don’t care that you don’t care what I do. Needless to say, the didn’ t get any more animation after that.

Why bother sending cards in general anyway if nobody cares? If they don’t care about a handmade animated card, they are  not going to care any mass-produced card either.

Can you hear the crickets here?

I know my sites get probably under 100 views per month and half of them are probably me. People sometimes visit my blog just to humour me and to say they saw it. But besides that? I’m not all too convinced that anybody cares…my feed subscribers are like…zero (okay one – ME) and well as my mailist.

Hello anybody out there? I think I can hear the croaking now too.  I think we’re by a swamp!

Maybe I need to get some friends (who care) or something. I don’t know.

Is there anybody out there? Does anyone care?

Whatever. I usually do these things for myself anyway… but if someone cared it would be nice.

Carry on, don’t pay any attention to me…I feel like Eeyore.