Family, in name only

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I always feel so distant from my family – especially one side of the family in particular. Aunts, uncles, cousins. It’s almost as if we were strangers that just happen to be related by blood somehow. But we don’t know each other. Not really. We just eye each other, not knowing what the other is thinking. Not knowing the other person. We’re just strangers who are in the same space based on the claim of shared bloodlines and/or martial relations. In some cases, such as with one of my grandmothers – we’re even separated by a lack of common language. So we’ve never talked. Not once. Probably not ever. And she’ll never understand. I could publish articles, write a book or whatever and she’ll never understand (unless it was translated, maybe).

To be honest, I haven’t even talked to my cousins from that side. As a child. I never played with them. To be they were always separate, strangers. Separate strangers.

I know they all look down on me. Maybe they won’t admit it but I know they do. I guess that makes sense. I’ve always been behind in terms of maturity and of course, socially. Even though they can speak English, it still seems that we are not speaking the same language.

Maybe it’s because my language is so textual, literary. I am way better at writing than speaking. There are a lot of words that I can write but cannot say.  My imagined conversations probably seem more scripted than spontaneous. I am so connected to this language (English) yet know nearly nothing about my ancestral language.

So we look at each other. Not knowing, not trusting. All we know is that we are supposedly related.

The Logistics of Ending the World

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So, I was thinking…all (or most) of these doomsday “prophesies” have as specific day and usually a specific time attached to them.

But wait? How can the world end that why if the world doesn’t work that why?

There are different timezones and at any time in the world, there world usually crosses two dates. Assuming the world was going to end, how are you going to account for the different timezones to die off at the prescribed date and time?

So on doomsday, does the world just die off timezone by timezone?

If you want to make a realistic apocalyptic prophesy, you need to make it more specific, by specifying a  timezone – and even if you did that to coincide with earthly event – it is possible that not all parts of the world will be the same. So only parts of the world will end?

Or you need to make it vague….like between X day and X day or like say, 4 billion years from now. That is the most realistic I think because since the timezones are all different, it’s difficult to accurately gauge a certain day even if you know that say, giant rock is coming….or if there is a large part of uncertainty, like super volcanoes blowing up or the sun expanding (before dying).

Am I overanalyzing the end of the world? Apocalypse how?

Streetlights in the Sky

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Lights hovering

When I was a child, I would marvel at the cluster of lights in the Vancouver winter night sky, The bright white dots were clustered up there in the night sky, brilliantly glowing.

I suppose they could be stars. But they were too bright to be stars, too big and too steady. They appeared on cloudy nights yet only appeared when the air was cold and never in the summer. Yet, they were always at the same place, neatly arrayed. They weren’t planes. Planes moved but these did not. I knew they were a sign of civilization but I didn’t know why.