I never really felt like I really got along with anyone in my family, save for a very select few due to various things. But I think one of these things is the way I think and view the world. I am very much in my own head and often quite abstract. Abstraction is something I often think about and how everything relates to a greater web of things. I can look at something both internally and distanced. My viewpoint is firm, I do like to win arguments (although I suck at them in person). Evidence is good, it augments or discredits the argument. But it doesn’t have to be “real” in the sense of physical or practical. It just has to make sense. However, my viewing angles are malleable. I can think from from various viewpoints – objectively (logically), from one viewpoint or of course, subjectively.

I think with my head, within my head. I’m often not in the moment, having too many connections of the future or the past or possible meanings. Making connections to other things is easy to me and I am naturally cross-discipline in a sense in that way. It is almost impossible for me not to apply other theories from my other courses into each other if they are somewhat related. (I had a lot of fun over-thinking things from my environmental history and human origins archaeology courses).

I effortlessly leap from one thought to the next. As a child, I was amazed at my own ability to connect thoughts to together, to the point that I  wondered how did I get there? I remember thinking about possibility of an action in elementary school (primary I think, the oldest I could have been was grade 4)…and then I stopped at train of thought because it was overwhelming (I was basically thinking about a infinite alternate universes stemming from one action although I did not realize it at the time, of course).

I guess I’m also visual. I can hold moving images in my head and look at something in real life…and be amazed that I am “seeing” two things at once. I don’t know about patterns. I don’t actively seek patterns but they often seem to seek me, somehow.

I usually score quite high in logic on various random “personality” tests.  I even did so on my psych-ed. But I HATE math. I don’t know why I or how I can be so logic, even pattern-based and not be half-decent at math. But somehow, I really suck at math. I never got arithmetic. It is possible that I may be able to do more advanced stuff easier but I don’t know because I couldn’t quite get over the hump that was arithmetic. Algebra was only difficult once I had to quantify something. So basically, the moment there’s a number, all logic goes to hell. Seriously. I even suck at things involving numbers, not math, just numbers. I do reasonably well in logic without numbers.

I’m not a concrete thinker at all. That’s probably why I do reasonably well in school. I’m bad at drilling myself information. I’m horrible at rote memorization (multiplication tables fail!). I guess if I can’t link into to a web of thoughts, it just dies a horrible, forgotten death. Seriously, I would simultaneously memorize and forget multiplication tables (so by the end I, really only knew a handful – the easiest and the latest ones).

But I’m a crazy over-thinker. I also don’t do well with the unknown so that ends up being a common fixation of over-thinking,. I also daydream like crazy, imagining various scenarios. Very little seems to shut the brain down…it’s always doing something! It’s always thinking about something. Argh!  I can probably over-think you out! (If not, then tell me how to stop over-thinking!). When I took the photo of my horse novels  for a recent post on horse fiction, I would up re-organizing the books (wrong order + upside down) and then taking another photo!

Funnily enough, even though I am messy and tend to procrastinate, I always have a need to have a plan. I actually like making plans. It’s weird. I don’t always follow them though. If my plan doesn’t work then I get peeved. Also, if you move something that I knew where it was (somehow), I get disorientated and peeved (where is it?!?!). But the weird thing is, I’m selectively messy. If given the opportunity  I do organize my books (by subject/category, and all numbered series must be numerical). However, I can’t really access my bookshelf now…it’s in my stupid closest so that’s moot!

Leave a Reply