I have been told to seek volunteer opportunities. So I did. All I found was that the volunteer listings either wanted “strong interpersonal skills” and/or experience. None of which I have.

There is a gulf between me and my peers. As I got older, it got wider and wider and filled with water.  I have not made friends since I was around 10 years old. I have not had close peer-type friends since I was in my early teens.

It’s come to a point in which I just live within myself. My only external joys are horses and perhaps nature. The human world, the social world is completely foreign to me. I have never “hung out” with a group of friends. I’ve never had a group of friends. I don’t particularly need or want a group of friends.

I wish I could say my family is better but it is not. Basically everything I love, they hate and vice versa. I’m as detached to my community as can be…basically, I’m looking for some way out! I have decided I don’t really like the city. I’m a horse freak and I much prefer the woods and fields. I hate mall shopping and I just don’t really do “city things”.

But everyone seems to want social skills. I don’t really have social skills. (I hate going to restaurants too because of the interacting with the person thing!). I kind of want to crawl in a hole and be a hermit! Or even better – be some sort of one person nomadic pony tribe! Are there any hermits with horses?

Ugh!

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