Blog not showing up in Chrome (Win XP)?

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I don’t get it. The blog won’t show up on Chrome (yes, the latest version) on Windows XP. The backend, however still works (accessible only through the url and I can write drafts etc) but it will not load the blog itself for more than a few seconds before going “aw snap”. It’s not my server as my hand coded site works. I tried disabling plugins and that didn’t change anything.

It is possible it’s just that computer as it’s the only Windows XP computer at this time. But I tried playing with the firewall and still no go. The site works on the computer in Firefox just fine and and Internet Explorer 7 will load it – badly – but it will load it. But it won’t load in Chrome. Not just any Chrome – just that Chrome in XP and yes, it is updated.

It’s not completely validated but that is mostly due to WordPress doing things that I don’t know how to control and images without alt tags because I was too lazy to fill them  (to be honest).

I don’t get it. Hopefully, there’s not too many people that use Chrome on Windows XP (if it is a widespread issue) and if you are using Windows XP, please use  Firefox. ARRGGHH!!!  I don’t know what it’s doing that. I suppose I could try with a different theme but….we’ll see.

50mm F1.9 Yashica DSB Lens Test

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Okay so I was lazy I didn’t feel like copying the same batch of photos and putting them on here. Besides, the WordPress gallery must be getting a bit boring now (is it? I can install another gallery plugin eventually if it so happens that I am posting a lot of galleries which I have seemed to be doing lately).

I finally got my adapter (Fotga CY – M4/3).  It does go a bit past infinity and the distance markings don’t seem very accurate but it works fine (to me). This is the 50mm F1.9 Yashica DSB Lens that I bought used for about $25 (total expense: about $32 including the adapter which is not bad for a lens).

It’s not that clear wide open but that also could be partly the photographer’s problem (still figuring out how to focus). Mostly I shot in aperture priority (camera decides shutter – which only worked sometimes I felt) and manual.  Most exposure mistakes are probably mine.

People on mobile/tablet or Flash haters: set is here to view on Flickr.

Here’s some crappy camera phone photos with my camera and the lens.



PS: Also apparently the andriod wordpress app doesn’t seem to work very well when it comes to publishing posts…or at least I couldn’t get it to (I wrote the post on the computer though and only used the app to post the last two images).

Trout Lake and the Tomato Festival [Gallery]

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Yes, seriously a tomato festival.  But it was more like a market.

This is my first meetup (photography group). I’m not sure if I’m going again as it was a bit much socially but maybe if they just let me listen and leave me alone it’ll be ok. We scattered anyway. I really wanted to photograph other parts of trout lake but the person I was with was obsessed with the market!! (Which was way too crowded btw).

Edit: I missed a photo so I added it.

Photos also uploaded to my Flickr account and the Meetup group.


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Back to how it was before age impaired our reach

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Sorry not much new footage. Mostly just a rehash. I just don’t have any, especially with riding. Maybe I need to get a tripod…but even then my camera can only record 25 minutes at a time and I don’t know how much Czar is into tripods and so on…so I don’t know about that. My mom likes to video me doing nothing much lol.

The shaky first person stuff is mine. Image stabilization would have gave me an epic jello effect. Hopefully not too dizzy…but you try doing something AND holding the camera steady at the same time.

Apparently, great equine cinematic masterpieces are not created by a team of one, with a camera (with no video image stabilization) in one hand and a horse in the other…. (ah, but I don’t have friends so…).

First attempt at colour effects (cross processing in this case)

Music: “Pioneers” – The Lighthouse and the Whaler
(Free download from Noisetrade)

Beyond the blinds

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It is languid in the last remaining whiffs of summer, free from the annual ritual of buying books and preparing for another semester of study. But I’m not languid. I feel stuck. stuck behind these binding blinds and stuck behind all the walls that hold me in.

Already I had someone from an employment centre give up on me because I have the social skills of a rock.

This wasn’t the plan. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. I was supposed to learn things, then get a job and then at least ride a horse with a bit more talent for low level dressage a few times per week . I would like to own a horse one day but I don’t think it’s going to happen while living in city.

I now want to be closer to horses, to feel their firm neck against me while I cry. Or just rake out the manure and shavings, at least you don’t really need to interact with people until someone starts fighting for the wheelbarrow.  But I’m in the city and my current situation doesn’t allow for me to work at the barn (lack of transportation, I don’t live close by, the barn is kind of obsessed with cleanliness and I don’t like blowers and my trainer no longer boards horses).

We are not getting younger. I’ll be 24 soon. “My” horse Czar is 26 and though is still sound, is getting arthritic. We are not getting younger. But I don’t seem to be moving anywhere either.

I feared that this will happen, that September will roll around and I’ll have nothing to do.
It did.

I feel like I’m going nowhere, stuck behind the blinds. The world outside is frightful, unknown. I don’t know where I’m going anymore. And I feel stuck, wedged in between the binds that hold me in.

Going nowhere.  Everything feels hopeless at the moment. And I’m not ready.

Degree Pass, School Intergration Fail

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It’s September now. Everyone seems to be going to school. Except me.

So I have finished my degree with some support. Maybe some would love to gush about the accessibility of the school system, how we integrate the normals and the for lack of better word, the “non normals”. But what is “integration” really and call you call it that? “Integration” is a misnomer. It does not necessarily mean that we are all part of it, that we fully equal and that gulfs don’t exist.  It just means that everyone gets to be there, share the same space, share the same air.

I spent most of my grade school in a social development program. Yes, I rode the short bus. And the “short bus” jokes are not particularly funny to me. We often had maybe one block per week (elementary) or one to two classes (secondary and only in some cases) of “integration” in which I was just tossed in a regular classroom for a while. But did I interact with the class? Not really.  In my later years of high school, I was fully “integrated” – if you can call it that. I went to “normal” classes, did “normal” schoolwork. Did I have “normal” relationships? Not even close. I made no friends.

Yes, for all intents and purposes, I have graduated university. Most will say that I was “integrated” since I went to normal classes, handed in normal assignments, took normal exams (often with the class) and normally procrastinated. But I wasn’t normal. Throughout my entire 6 years of university (I didn’t take full loads), I was incredibly isolated. I don’t recall talking to my peers let alone making friends. I had accommodations for group work, presentations and participation so I was allowed to remain in my “buffer zone”.  No one was even interested in me anymore and I helplessly felt the gaps widening.  I never had normal parties, normal relationships, normal friends, normal study groups, normal clubs, normal jobs or anything like that.

There was me. And then there were the normals.
That is not “integration”. It is barely inclusion in the aspect that sharing physical space and course content is accepted.

I don’t think there is adequate support for developing social skills in the public system where I live.  There wasn’t for me. Aside from math, I was generally okay for academics. I’m no genius but I can manage alright. But I still have the social skills of a rock…and judging from my meltdown with a phone call a few days ago, I still have the social skills of a rock. It is better I guess but simply not good enough.

Some debate if special needs should even be in classrooms, claiming that slows others down. I don’t know but I know that we sure as hell can’t develop social skills if we have no one to practice it on. Also, that kind of edging towards discrimination. Yes there are cases where a student is disruptive but aside from that. Sure you can’t spend all day tending to one or two students with a one or two staff  and support members but that’s a staffing problem, not including special needs. So don’t blame the students, especially if they are not disruptive. I wasn’t but I’ve had classmates that were (or at least distracting – such as throwing pencils so it sticks up in the ceiling).

At any rate, I still few completely out of the loop and searching for the entrance into the loop that I cannot possibly go in. I still don’t have friends, still can’t make friends. I’ve been riding for over a decade now and spent part of the time hanging out at the barn. But I’ve never made horsy people friends (especially other students) and it feels like I’m just so completely out of touch with them. I have watched people  made friends at the barns but the most I’ve been able to do was to be a third wheel to two younger horse crazy girls (they were both better riders than me despite I that probably was riding longer) when I was helping camps in Southlands (I was helping with them but got “laid off” in about 2-3 weeks since they only wanted 2 helpers).  It is however, still closer than what I’ve had a university. Since my classes always had a different group of people, I never really got to know anyone anyway.

Even when I did talk to my peers in regular classes  when I was around grade 1-2 (5-7 years old), I still never made friends. They all thought I was weird or something.

At any rate, schools can say all they want about “integrating” everyone, if possible. But they do not.  Nor do the provide the support for some to do so.

I’m still looking out of the glass, waiting for something.