I don’t canter THAT much but for some reason it seems like a lot of footage is of canter… Also the jump here was the first jump since 2008! (I don’t usually jump because I am a chicken). Also disclaimer: there is a giant eye in this lol! 😛 I don’t find it freaky….
The footage came from a variety of sources hence the highly variable quailty. It’s also not chronological because I don’t know….lazy editing 😛 . Maybe another time.
Yes, the Tony is the SAME Tony. He’s a magical colour changing grey horse! (He’s probably white now…)
Oh and yes, the minis have names: Spot, Shadow and Winterhawk but I’m not sure in which order.
Main Footage taken at 3 main barns: Greystone Stables, Country Lane Farm and Pony Pals Stables (all Delta). Additional footage/stills taken at Tiny Tales/4 Seasons Equestrian, Emerald Stables (Langley) and somewhere in High Point in Langley (trail ride).
Footage/Photos taken by: my mom, Leora, Catherine, Kim, Trisha and me.
All horses in this video: Tulla, Tony, Czar, Shorty, Sparkles, Ray. Minis (Spot, Shadow, Winterhawk), Remmy (still only), Pilgrim (still only – that 1 trail ride).
Sometimes it has a lot to do with what I’m doing, sometimes it doesn’t. A few are personal, most have probably been seen before. 2 photos per month seem to show the best. Well, except I wanted to stick a snow photo in November but….oh well. Some months I had a lot of photos to choose from, others, less so.
2014. It was weird. This was the first full year out of school. This is a full year in limbo, with very little structure. There were quite a few highs but there were also a few somewhat disastrous things and lows. Some things proved way more complicated/harder then it seemed.
This is the first full year I had my current camera (I got it spring 2013) and also the first year I had access to an additional zoom lens with a bit more reach.
**Now with some links to albums with photos from the same shoot to case you wanted to go down a time wasting rabbit hole…occasionally sort of literally :-P. It’s more the recent photos with linked albums – mostly with pruned down albums. Sort of. .**
January 4th, 2014 – sunset
January 26, 2014 – Czar & his buddy. I think that might have been last time I attempted to ride Czar….the grey
I actually have no photos from my camera!!! So these are actually all photos off my phone….
February 6, 2014 – Lego robot from the Specialisterne Lego Mindstorms Workshop. I did not progress past this phase for the Specialisterne/SAP pilot project. (Get your mind out of the gutter when it comes to robot parts, it’s a scanner ok? 😛 ) [phone photo]
February 9th, 2014 – Chinese New Year Lantern Festival – Year of the Horse! (I rode little that month though as my coach was away and such…). With random kid… [phone photo]
Didn’t take a ton of photos in March either…
March 5, 2014 – Libby at Pony Pals takes a little nap (ignore the poo pile….)
March 12, 2014 – Driving to Pony Pals we see….
April 11, 2014 – Lucky shot “As the Crow Flies”
April 27, 2014 – trees in blossom
May 12, 2014 – Toys by Eric (BACI project) photo shoot. It was supposed to be done quite some time before….long story…done with some (but not a ton of) support from BACI’s BEST Employment.
May 21, 2014. Eagle on the stupid Iona Beach jetty. Also learned what kind of bag you don’t want to wear with your camera gear while walking for 8km (4km each direction, it’s not like you can take a shortcut once at the other end) on a strip of whatever that never ends.
June 1st, 2014 – a horse and rider competes at the Purica Recovery EQ World Cup Qualifier FEI** at Thunderbird Show Park (went to watch with my coach)
August 24, 2014 – warmblood foals at Country Lane Farm
I was actually pretty literally lame in September so it was amazing I have any photos at all! Hence most were towards the end of the month. I was kind of stuck on the couch for most of the month…
September 21, 2014 – family’s ash scattering ceremony for my grandfather who died earlier that month (he was 81). Edited photo (obviously). It was a toss up between this photo and the photo of my family gathering around (and strangely smiling…?).
September 24, 2014 – the minis at Tiny Tales Pony Rescue (these minis are not rescues though) enjoy some carrots. [phone photo] Shadow is in the middle, Spot and Winterhawk are on the side? To be honest I haven’t quite figured out who is who. Used my phone since I didn’t bring my camera.
The two Sams are not related despite their name and colouring 😛 .
November 15, 2014 – One of the many stills I took (I took both behind the scenes video and stills that day though) during the Graffiti PSA shoot with Frames Film Project. It’s almost impossible to find a photo with most of the crew in it (or cast and crew in it…) so in the end, I chose a photo of the slate lol. Too many photos!!
Well, I did get photos for every month of the year at least….
Unless indicated all photos are shot with an Olympus PEN micro four thirds camera. Phone photos taken with an Nexus 4.
Edit – BONUS!
All ready for the New Year with the 2009 Horse Calendar that is still there* , 2015 Tiny Tales Pony Rescue Society Calendar and 2015 Horse Lovers’ Calendar (the small one). The 2015 ones were given to me (one for Xmas). Despite that I haven’t used paper calendars of any sort since like 2008. I had no calendars last year and now I have 3…
*Now that it’s 2015, the 2009 calendars work again! (except for Easter and maybe a few other holidays that don’t match, most of the major ones do..). Yes, that’s my justification for the 2009 horse calendar that’s still on my wall – since 2009 Not that I actually use paper calendars anyway – I mostly use Google Calendar.
Photo edited by me but not taken by me. Me & Sparkles. June 2014.
This is what keeps me at going, I guess. Or at least attempting to move forward.
Even though there’s no certainty. Even though I’m not sure if my dreams can come true. Even if there is no promise at the end. Even though it may never happen.
But the possibility of my dreams….to even go halfway….it would be enough.
My outlandish dream is to own a horse. Of course I’m not even sure that is remotely possible myself. My more realistic and shorter term goal is having my dreams go about halfway-ish and be able to maybe half lease (or to ride at least 2-3 days or more per week).
Still the glimmer of it, the possibility is enough for me to try to keep moving forward even when it sometimes seems impossible. (And many times it has. There are just so many barriers it seems.)
I feel like I’m very slowly attempting to take the first small steps towards what could be my dreams. But I didn’t realize how hard it is. Or how much that even how much it logically may make sense that emotionally, the process of progress is overwhelming.
From here on, the text has kind of gone out of control and slightly off topic…
Horses are expensive (I’m often struggling to ride weekly as it is) so short of winning the lottery (that I don’t play) or some other highly unlikely (preferably legal) lucrative scenario, employment is integral to my dreams.
It’s easy to admit that I don’t have social skills as I’ve always felt like I have the social skills of a pet rock with legs (for fleeing of course) anyway. But it’s quite another to seriously actually work on it….instead of just talking about working on it (which is way easier). I know I don’t have really have the social skills for most things right now. Working with people I don’t know well is incredibly awkward. Greetings are an unnatural chore. Introductions are next to impossible. I still have an aversion to phones and so on…and that’s with the simple things. To say nothing of any of the more complicated intricacies of things like power or dealing with conflict (besides angrily walking away and/or ignoring) and so on that I feel like I have little understanding of.
I am trying to push forward but I’m also finding myself planting my feet and stopping at anything that seems scary. (I’m not quite spinning around and bolting but….)
I also don’t really feel really prepared for anything. Currently, I don’t feel like I have the skills for employment, espeically the social skills part. I’m not completely sure about any sort of major group work either in any setting. Transitions to the unknown are hard, especially when I don’t feel ready. But I’m not sure if I’ll ever truly feel ready, I’m not sure if is the sort of test that I never feel ready until after I did it and then it’s okay (even though it may not have felt that way at the time).
I have been stumbling around in this void, this in-between for slightly over a year now. Previously, I was in university. School was relatively safe and predictable. Since I was so socially isolated throughout most of my school years (grade and post secondary) I never really worked with others in person.
The possibilities are of course exciting but the uncertainty is terrifying. Yet possibilities and uncertainty are seemingly irrevocably entangled. I’m almost 25 now (in early Nov) and for some reason, it feels that time is ticking. I don’t know if it actually is but it feels that way.
I am eager but terrified to move forward. The contradicting desires are confusing me, pulling me in multiple directions. I’m not sure if I’m flying or falling or neither since I never managed to leave the freaking ground in the first place (I might be crawling).
Yet, the possibility of horses in my future keeps me wanting to go forward. Somehow. Even though I’m not always entirely sure if I can and even if I’m not even sure if horses would even be there. (My other goal is to move out but I don’t find it quite as inspiring as horses most of the time).
Ok, I know this kind of drifted off into a slightly off-topic rant after the first photo and turned out way longer than originally intended. Oops.
I pretty much spent this entire week at home over-thinking (plus a bit of writing). I’m a good complainer, can get fixated on things (usually the things I shouldn’t be fixating on), tend to write more when I’m confused and mix that with the fact that I’m kind of in a weird phase right now. If I don’t make sense it’s because nothing much is making sense to me either as a whole (separately things make sense).
Me bareback on Czar, Sept 2012. Czar being an awesome couch. 🙂
PS: I know I’m wearing the same thing in both photos haha.
Everything is of the verge of falling apart. And everything is on the verge of coming together.
But I feel the collapse imminent. It’s like what WILL happen if nothing happens. What will happen if I don’t stop it. Somehow.
Yet, there’s hope of greater changes. I guess. Maybe one day soon, I’ll have a job (or two). Maybe one day soon, I can move out. Maybe one day soon, I can be more involved with horses and riding.
But I don’t know. There’s somehow that maybe the first two things may happen. But I don’t know when and I don’t know how.
I have been a bit more successful with the volunteer thing lately. I’m going to volunteer as a photographer this weekend. I did some things with a computer refurb/recycling organization. And most excitedly, I have volunteered with horses – for a few months in a therapuetic riding program and possibly in the future with a pony rescue. Granted most of these things are either not long termed and have not yet happened yet or both.
But I still feel like everything is about to fall apart. That there’s no horizon and the world is flipped on its head. I’ve been out of university for over 8 months and I haven’t done much. Meanwhile, it’s been an insane 7 years since I’ve graduated high school. How does that even happen? It feels like it was just a few years ago I was a schoolgirl wandering through the high school corridors. Time doesn’t explain it. It seems so fast.
And still I haven’t done much. I have completed a degree and that’s about it. Definitely not much to write home about for a 24 year old. I feel like I’m getting older, that the time and the window for success is like somehow running out. I’m not quite sure where or how I got to the conclusion.
I guess I’m a results-orientated person. I might have been ambitious, had I had more success in…I don’t know, life? Forcing things don’t always work. I know. That’s what riding has taught me….you can be so determined to “fix” something that everything winds up totally unravelling. But it’s what else do you do? Wait until they come to you? That approach doesn’t really work either, it seems.
Everything seems to be on the verge of falling apart, hanging by its last threads. A big part of it is uncertainty. It’s like I know everything is going to fall apart but I don’t know if anything or everything will come together. The hope is promising but I feel the imminent collapse is looming.
I haven’t even thought much of July yet, other than I hope that I get my crap together…for some reason July seems unplanned, devoid of anything and I just can’t really seem to think much beyond the first week or two of July at all.
I hope that things will work out. But I just don’t know.
I miss school. I miss horses (I haven’t ridden or seen horses in about 2 weeks). I’m tired of arguing at home about stupid things. I miss the structure that my life once had.
I had more in my mind, but somehow this was all I managed to write. Amazing.
I’ve known him for 7 years. I may not have ridden him during that time, but I know he was always there. But now, I’ve moved onto a school horse at another barn (same coach). I will miss him. I do miss him.
He’s 26-27 in the video (except for older stills). Footage from 2013 and Jan 2014. I don’t ride him anymore…I tried but he was still wasn’t sound enough.
This one is different as it’s not a riding video! (I don’t have much riding footage anyway…no one to take it!) Last year (and this year) I spent some time taking some footage of him mostly loose.
Attempted colour grading/colour correction by me. I don’t really know what I’m doing (was going for something warm though) and my current version of Premiere is very old (CS3) so I couldn’t find effect presets for it.
1726 16hh jet black Houyhnhnm stallion. Beautiful, sophisticated black Houyhnhnm imported from the Land of Houyhnhnms. Learns very fast and is extremely, extremely, extremely smart! Be the owner of one of the most intelligent equids…ever! Huge personality! Very honest. Never spooks, very rational. Very clean – will pick up after himself and even help clean the farm. Enjoys deep analytical, logical, philosophical discussions. Will be excellent for the disciplines of debating, logic competitions, championship chess and other logic-based strategic activities. Excellent for single philosophers, debaters, scientists, geniuses and self-proclaimed “geniuses” or anyone who enjoys intelligent engagement with a being in civil, rational ways. Fluent and literate in native language of Houyhnhnm, understands Yahoo Language (English variant) but generally does not care to speak it (though is able to). Prefers to communicate in Houyhnhnm.
Never gets attached to other herdmates. Never fights, is peaceful and nonviolent – believes everything can be solved with calm and logical thought. Is not easily distracted or moody. Detests displays of affection, finds it too primitive. Enjoys naturalistic art. For companion only (but not for hugging or lovey dovey things) – is 100% sound but constantly engages in deep logical argumentative discussions as a form of protest. For experienced people only as will get into a philosophical argument that rivals Plato every time something is asked of him. May not respect humans he does not know very well, assumes them as “yahoos”. Not to be stalled as he will scientifically and rationally figure out how to escape a barn and will be extremely cross. Not recommended for beginners, yahoos, bleeding hearts, emotional people or those who think or reason emotionally. Is ridable if one a Houyhnhnm whisperer (not to be confused with a horse whisperer) or has a IQ of 200 and exceptional arguing and logic skills who can convince him that it is perfectly logical and reasonable to have a yahoo on his back and physically exert himself. Can be gelded if you can convince him that it is a good idea – (he claims gelding is a profound inference with nature, especially for a fine genetic specimen such as himself). A great spouse replacement for an intelligent person who feels that his/her mate (or ex-mate) is irritatingly too emotional and also irritatingly not bright or logical enough.
For more information, contact Lemuel Gulliver or Johnathan Swift (by mail or in person – telegraphs, phones and the internet do not exist in their time bubble. They apologise for any inconvenience.)
One day you’re floating. As if everything can come true. As if wishes were horses to canter along the clouds. To scoop you up and fly you to all that you ever wanted.
The next day you’re sinking. You feel the undertow dragging you down, lost in the dark water and caught drowning in the undertow. Wondering what it felt like to breathe. Again.
I’m not sure what I’m doing. Not sure what I’m here for. That all of my dreams are silly, that they’ll never come true. That it’s pointless to dream of my dressage pony (or other equid) near where I live, of where I cannot escape, that I seem to be ineradicably stuck to thus far. Despite my pastoral longings, I am stuck in the city where my self bounces against the walls longing for greener pastures. To be at least closer to horses. Yet I dream of a place close to where we’ll attempt dressage some days and play on the woods other days.
Some days are hazy, whereas others I can see the dim light in the fog. But it’s like I’m living in a hazy water and nothing seems real. I don’t know what I’m doing, suspended in the thick water .
Things move fast but the right things seem to move slow. Too slow.
And I drift in the undercurrents, waiting for something. Waiting for dreams, that I’m not sure will hold. Waiting for a future that I so want but seems impossible now. Waiting, waiting.
I’m not always quite sure if I’m waiting for anything.
Sorry not much new footage. Mostly just a rehash. I just don’t have any, especially with riding. Maybe I need to get a tripod…but even then my camera can only record 25 minutes at a time and I don’t know how much Czar is into tripods and so on…so I don’t know about that. My mom likes to video me doing nothing much lol.
The shaky first person stuff is mine. Image stabilization would have gave me an epic jello effect. Hopefully not too dizzy…but you try doing something AND holding the camera steady at the same time.
Apparently, great equine cinematic masterpieces are not created by a team of one, with a camera (with no video image stabilization) in one hand and a horse in the other…. (ah, but I don’t have friends so…).
First attempt at colour effects (cross processing in this case)