Jennego
Rambling and Things

Posts Tagged with walls

Existing: Rhythms of Days

Each day leads to the another day, seamlessly flowing into another as time somehow marches by.

That used to disturb me.  It used to bother me that I was getting older (I’m now 25) but not really achieving anything. I still live at home. I’m still not independent. Forget a career, I never had a job ever and well….I don’t know. I still don’t know how I’m going to afford my expensive hobbies (why expensive hobbies?! Grrr!). But for the time being, I guess it is not meant to be….

Those things haven’t changed. They haven’t changed at all. But See the rest of the post →

Can Hermit be an option?

I have been told to seek volunteer opportunities. So I did. All I found was that the volunteer listings either wanted “strong interpersonal skills” and/or experience. None of which I have.

There is a gulf between me and my peers. As I got older, it got wider and wider and filled with water.  I have not made friends since I was around 10 years old. I have not had close peer-type friends since I was in my early teens.

It’s come to a point in which I just live within myself. My only external joys are horses and perhaps nature. See the rest of the post →

On the Edge of the Unknown

I couldn’t find an appropriate photo for this post (and don’t have enough inspiration to take one at the moment).

But yeah, I may have been more annoying than usual. I will admit that.

Lately, I’ve been edgy, impatient, more anxious then usual. I have a desire for instantaneous answers. As if I’m trying to secure some sort of certainty, trying desperately to tie peices of what I know to the trees with the prospecting hurricane of change.

This is me on the edge of the unknown. Filled with uncertainty, it feels like the end, even though people may assure See the rest of the post →

The Void

The void is overbearing, looming ahead of me. I don’t know what to do. It is ever-approaching and I feel utterly unprepared for what is to come ahead. Whatever it is.

I started my last semester this week. It’s a mixture of relief – the ending of the draining, droning rhythm of school. You go to lecture. You read. You listen. You study. You write. Then you wonder about your grade.  And of course, leaping from one panicked deadline to another. But all and all, it’s familiar.  That fact, for the moment is the most important. Stagnancy is easy See the rest of the post →

Can We Ever Be Free?

Can we ever be free
or is to be bounded a condition
of living and existence?

We are tied to the world
tied to social systems
bounded, shackled, chained

each one of us is a
slave to society

each one of us is a
slave to ourselves

some of us are
slaves to fear
slaves to reality
slaves to fate

Life is the master
we are not
just merely its slaves

to live is to be bounded
by the constraints of life,
the master’s constant
sometimes harsh demands
that you cannot
argue with

but it doesn’t mean
are we never See the rest of the post →

Leaning into the Void

This is it.

I’m heading towards the end of my academic career. (I don’t really have  the grades for grad school and if I did do it, it’ll probably something not so practical…like creative writing). But I don’t know what’s at the end.

I’m heading towards the void.
I’m leaning into the void.
I’m falling into the void. See the rest of the post →

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