The four walls corral me in. They protect me from the outside world. They are the boundaries between my world and the rest of the world. Are the walls closing in? I’m not sure.
I bang into the walls, as if somehow, they’ll disappear. As if they weren’t there. It feels good. Makes me feel solid, less translucent.
These are the walls of my world. Both invisible and solid. Transparent and oblique. All sorts of colours are possible, yes. But most of the time they are a sterile cream. What I grew up with. What I live in. Sometimes they are comforting. A small comforting space. Other times than are claustrophobic, limiting, frightening and boring. Cream walls are boring!
The walls hold me in. Keep the world out. Keep the elements out. Keep people and everything else out. They keep me safe. Or do they? I’m not sure. I’m now so afraid to believe in my dreams that I doubt that any gets let through those walls.
But I’m trapped. I’m the only one here within these walls. Can anyone find me here? I don’t think so. No one can rescue me here. I am alone within my own walls. Or so I think, anyway.
Sometimes it’s light here, when the soft glow of the sun casts its golden embrace that bounces off the walls.
Sometimes it’s dark here, with the walls casting long shadows into oblivion.
Sometimes I just want to bang my head against these walls. I keep running into these walls. I keep going nowhere. Nowhere slow. Nowhere fast. Nowhere in-between. Well, maybe somewhere slow but it’s so slow that I can barely tell.
Is there a life beyond these walls? Maybe. Could be. But like other dimensions (beyond our four), I’ve never ventured outside these walls, so I don’t know.
I’m too afraid to break out but too afraid to stay here. Do I disappear within these walls? Sometimes I want to. Want to have my spirit weave in and out of these walls. To experience the world away from my earthly limits. To be free, to liberate myself from these walls. What would it like to be a wall? Not be in a wall or scrapping against a wall or banging furiously on a wall but actually be a wall.
I think it would be interesting for the first while, watching things and such but once the novelty wore off, it would be boring. I think I would like to be pure energy actually, weaving in and out through walls…